Saturday, June 7, 2014

Here's the story {part two}

When your life changes you usually have absolutely no idea that a life altering event, person, conversation is about to be introduced to your little world. So going to pick raspberries and strawberries with my berry picking ninja friends seemed like a normal day. Until my friend started sharing about these classes she was going to in order to get her foster care license. She told of friends that had done this and now were on the path to adopt. Tears were steaming down my face as I listened to her knowing that this car ride, this conversation, this door standing wide open for me to walk through was not an accident. I don't remember picking berries that day but I was the berry picking ninja of the day as my mind raced. 

A research mission was launched when I got home and by September we were to start our foster trainings and home study and licensing agents being in our home and preparing our home for a little one to come. The official word came in June that we were licensed. And we waited. 

And as we waited there was this nagging little seed inside my brain that maybe we shouldn't give up all hope on having our own baby. That maybe there was one more doctor we hadn't seen, one more procedure to try, just one more prayer that needed to be said. So we jumped and gave another a try, completed one more procedure and were once again told that our chances didn't look any better. 

Over a bottle (or two) of wine we decided to give it to the garden. We have seen (a dozen times) The Odd Life of Timothy Green. Time and time again I've said, "let's do that! Let's make our list and give it to the garden." My passion for cheesy movie cliches and grand gestures isn't shared and I often get a confused, blank stare. But on this night, after a bit of wine and lots of talk, the agreement was made that we would give our responsibility in the bearing of children up. We wrote an agreement that we would no longer force ourselves through infertility treatments or discussion of what we would 'do' next in regards to completing our family. Instead we would turn over all trust to God and what was to be, would be. So we wrote the agreement. We signed the agreement. We gave it to the most stubborn, yet strong, plant in our garden- the oregano. We agreed that from that moment if one of us started to panic and think...I'm a chronic over thinker!...we would remind each other that we gave it to the oregano to protect and to be quiet and wait for God's plan. Then we turned on the sprinkler, after digging a hole beneath the oregano and dropping in our agreement, and danced in our garden. 

And peace came. A beautiful, wonderful, amazing peace entered my heart and soul. And I knew that we had so many blessings and having children to care for in our home would not make me a better person. I started to forgive my body for its imperfections and I began to love myself. I routinely counted blessings (friends, family, nieces, experiences, faith, safety, good food, the opportunity to teach, a school I love, all things small and big got counted). 

One morning, as I was leaving to teach summer school, I looked in the mirror and was genuinely happy. I was confident, loved and enjoyed the things I was doing in my life. My aurora was aglow and all was right with the world. 

If I could have known that moment was fleeting and just a short-lived moment. Two days later, our life would change. 

Welcome to my Fairy Gardens

It is a rainy afternoon and there is no place where the rain sounds better than on my front porch. While we are here, you should say hello to the fairies! 
No contemplation is complete without a favorite cup of coffee! I love her peaceful little face. 
The cup of coffee was bought with a teacher appreciation gift card from Hobby Lobby. The candles, bench, banner and fairy we purchased at this amazing little fairy shop in Kansas City when I went home to spoil my mom for Mother's Day. I bought mom several goodies for her fairy garden while there as well! The sea glass rocks were found at Growing Grounds as were several of the plants. Isn't that ladder on my Nell Hill yellow vase too cute?! My dear friend left me Jack Sticks in my mailbox the last week of school. I'm sure it is a game or something but  several of the pieces made it to my fairy gardens. 
This fairy flits around among the rosemary. Her bucket and water can came from Casey's Garden Shop while the flowers were doll hose accessories from Hobby Lobby. There are more of the Jack Stick pieces- a rake, hoe and shovel. 
I'm determined to bring back the ivy that is trying to die. It struggled to make the journey home from Kansas City and started to die as school was finishing up. Be strong little root! 
This vignette makes me smile every day! The old table was rescued from the side of the road. We threw it in the back of the Jeep while cruising around one Sunday afternoon several years ago. The wooden ampersand was found on sale for 75% off when mom and I were shopping for Mother's Day. The lantern we just got at Target as a sort of experiment. They have this whole line of solar power lanterns and I wondered if the work. We got one of the less expensive ones and I love it! It is perfect with these other pieces and then at night gives off the prettiest glow! 
I need a fairy for this pot. I've got my peaceful fairy in her garden, the flitting fairy working on saving her ivy and I need a playful fairy for the bike. So I guess I will have to head to see my mom so we can go to the 'fairy garden meca' together! Dad has to drive because it's super hard to find! 

Friday, June 6, 2014

Welcome back!

Hello! I've missed...well, the list of things I've been missing is very long! I've missed blog land so very much. So, I've returned.

 I'm glad you are joing me at my kitchen table again. I'm feeling inspired and ready to share this crazy life with you all. I'm working on pieces in the studio and creating in the kitchen. I'm sprinkling my home with happiness and stumbling through gardening. There is also a journey that I've been on that I'd love to share with you! 

Welcome summer break!!!!
So much love!!!